If I were President

IF I WERE PREZ, I'D;

MAKE XANAX A NAT'L SOFT DRINK

I'D HAVE CHIMPANZEES SHIT ON MY LAWN

I'D HAVE SEX WITH A BLOWUP DOLL AND TELL HER "YES, IT WAS GOOD!"

I'D MOVE

I'D TRY TO THINK OF ALL THE WOMEN I'VE WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH

I'D DRINK MORE SOY MILK

I'D KILL THE SOYCOW

I'D MAKE THE NAT'L DEBT DISAPPEAR LIKE DUST OUT MY ASS

(then I'd take residuals and buy an island off the the coast of Shiitscreaminoutmyasshole)

I'D SCREW THE V-PREZ IF SHE HAD A BEAVER (then brag)

I'D BUY A PIECE OF SHIT REALESTATE IN A TRAILER PARK IN NILES

I'D GOLF ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL DAY

I'D BUY MY GRAND KIDS A MERCEDES w/ A DRIVER

I'D ALSO TELL THEM IT WAS, "short term".

I'D SPEND THE DAY WITH MY BEST FRIENDS

I'D SHOW EVERYONE MY PIERCED NIPPLE AND BE PROUD

I'D GO TO THE UN AND TELL EVERYONE THAT "XANAX" IS NOW A WORLDWIDE SOFTDRINK

I'D RESSURECT MY PARENTS FROM THE DEAD SO THEY COULD SEE FOR THEMSELVES

I'D MAX MY CREDIT CARDS

I'D EAT A TWOlb STEAK

I'D VISIT SOMEONE ON DEATH ROW

I'D FIND OUT WHY WE DON'T HAVE A CURE FOR CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'D FIND OUT WHY SOMEONE, OR SOMETHING DOESN'T LET US HAVE THAT CURE!

I'D TRACK THEM DOWN AND SUE THEM AND THEIR OFFSPRING FOR THE NXT 30GEN

I'D GET RID OF NURSING HOMES AND TELL THE KIDS TO BE RESPONSIBLE

I'D TELL MY SONS, "I LOVE YOU" MORE THAN I PRESENTLY DO

I'D TELL THE WORLD, "WE AIN'T RESPONSIBLE FO' YO' ASS ANYMORE!"

but we know, that ain't gonna happn.

Peace!