"How Y'all Doin'?" If there is something about the English language I find so itriguing it is dialect! I love a good "Southern Accent". I'm not talking about the one you'd hear Boomhower on King of the Hill speak with. Hell, I don't even think that's considered a Southern accent! However, I do love to listen to a Southern Belle speak it! Well educated, maybe some proper schooling background, etc....
Anyway, 'nuff of that tangent. I realise the last entry I made here was back in September. I think I lost myself on Facebook! LOL!! I've been using it to feel out the "crowds" to launch my Poetry this year. I'm very close to finishing the poems and have recently started illustrations for some of them. Poetry is something that had escaped me the last 30+ years. Life's changes certainly hit me "broadside" and the road to another life/lives began.
Poetry...I've a knack for writing it, always have. Creativity is my lifeforce. I think without it, I'd just pack it all up and be an Accountant...sorry! But, there is something about using words to relate emotion. In high school I was constantly picked on by the bigger boys, the tougher boys, because "I was small"! I graduated weighing 113 pounds! I grew AFTER I graduated! I studied the dictionary in depth, learning a new word each day, one I knew the "bullies" would never understand (wasn't too hard) and a sort of "mental distraction". As it turned out, most people thought I was a snob! Who'da thunk?! It did, on the other hand fuck with the "bullies" heads and...I got slammed in lockers, thrown in trash cans all the same!
That dictionary did help with my "command of the english language". It did impress some people and other's...well, they thought I was a snob. WTF?!? Words have been my "Safety Net". Growing up I was a very small lad...weak, skinny, constantly getting my ass kicked and constantly giving up my dessert from the lunch pail. I remember in elementary school all the fights I was in my ass was kicked, but to make matters worse, I'd get sent to the principal's office, reprimanded and sometimes paddled for "Starting A Fucking Fight!" How messed up is that?! Maybe the Principal got a "kick outa beatin' a lil' boy's butt!" Perv!
Well anyway, years later and here I am and able to kick ass! Sometimes a "dog bites back". But, that's not me...I'm a "Lover not a Fighter". Which reminds, I'm really startin' to wonder what the hell happened?,..cause I "ain't had a piece o' ass in a looooong time!" Sorry, blatant honesty never looked good in print. Back to my ramblin's; It has been over 30 years since I wrote and back then it "just flowed". I think, because I was happy, in love and diggin' life as a teenager! Recently as several months ago, "out of the blue", it returned. At first I was perplexed, because the "pen" just wrote down what I was feeling...again, it "flowed". The more I wrote I realised I was writing FOR and ABOUT someone. That someone happened to be a young woman I had met on Facebook. I dedicated them to her, but did not want her to know it and to keep her anonimity. Thus, my "Muse" was borne. And the writing's came more and more. As I grew into my writing's I had begun to realise, without my "Muse's" knowledge, I was falling in Love. Problem was, she did not know it and was totally unprepared for my "dedication".
We were "Skyp'ing" one another. Each time we would have our encounter's I would notice something more I adored in her! Her smile! Her laughter! Her accent! I was mezmerised! And as time passed our conversations became more relaxed, "as lover's do". "In my mind, at least." And then it came to pass, as these matter's of the heart will do, that I blundered! I made a fool of myself! I professed my feelings and she,..she was caught "off guard! I hurt not only myself, but she as well. She was innocent a to my passions. I was considered a friend, an "Internet Friend", nothing more and to think there could have been, looking back...how foolish I was. And in the end, not only did everything become difficult (I had made it that way thru my inabilty to behave as an adult), but I had lost a friend. With it as well, my poetry has begun to falter.
I do have enough emtion and feeling whereas I can "wing it" and produce more, but I know they will not be the same as when I had my "Muse". Things in Life are someimes left unexplained as to try to understand...I leave this post with several poem's I had written for her. Until then, My Friends..."I'll be back."
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"Each time I see You, Your smile, hear Your laughter, I crave more. Words drift by and I smell the sweetness of each inflection as it lies gently upon my ears. Your Beauty could never launch a thousand ship's, for all on shore would not leave. Time is as it never was and will never be, I am at peace in my Heart each time I see You."
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"You", a light in my Heart, a Face of such Beauty I blush. Your smile melts my very Soul. Your laughter lifts me to heights I see Heaven. Yet, I cannot touch You. I cannot tell You of what lies within, for I am but one, afraid. "You" are my Dream and I should never wish to awaken from "the light in my Heart".
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My Heart quickens when I see Your face, It sings when I hear Your voice and dances with each syllable You inflect. My Heart races when You laugh! Your pensive frowns, Your tongue against Your soft lips, I am enamoured! All this and more...my Heart is Yours.
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