Reflecting

Yesterday was a "somber" day for me. I had time to think since I was at a jobsite for one of my clients; I was installing vinyl on their trucks. When I'm working for myself, such as on a site painting a sign, or installing vinyl graphics, I think. Generally the work is accomodating for such, because it's something I've done for most of my life and career. But, yesterday as I said was, well, "not my cup of tea".

As I "wrap up" this impending divorce my emotions range from "up" to "down". Typical. Every relationship that comes to an end one, or both parties endure the "emotional consequences". So, while idling my time I reflected upon the past 11 years with my "soon to be X". I thought of the times we spent together, traveling up the coastline of Lake Michigan visiting the resort towns and the times we spent in Saugatuck (the destination of our Honeymoon). Saugatuck was our "special getaway" to relax at the local B & B's. Many a wonderful weekend and most times I would leave with one, or two of my "collectible" Hawaiian Jams shirts (the BEST!!). I reflected on the times we spent on Cozumel Island snorkeling in turquoise water so clear you could see for hundreds of feet. The times spent going "down Island" visiting the resorts, or our favorites, the beach bars". I reflected upon the time we spent Halloween in New Orleans with Friends whom had a time share right in the middle of the French Quarter. I reflected on the many times I would have flowers sent to her workplace, "just because". I reflected upon the many cards I created for her, because "buying" a card would not suffice. I thought for many hours yesterday, dear Readers and I came to this conclusion.

LOVE comes with no "assembly" instructions. LOVE has no guarantees, no warranty, no returns. It is an emotion expressed when two Lives come together and allow all walls to come tumbling down. WE are at it's mercy. Therefore, I came to understand that "I" am responsible and no one else can be held accountable. Seriously, dear Readers, can one put a price tag on LOVE?! Do I regret having fallen in love? No. Am I upset at the outcome of years spent? Yes. However, I cannot bring myself to making this divorce an enterprising opportunity for another attorney (no offense, Jim). I am going to represent myself. You ask, "???!!" If I cannot defend my passions, my flaws, my love, why would I entrust anybody else and who better than I to speak up? I understand the possible outcome of all of this, it's all "Legaleze". And honestly, I don't care the outcome. I have only one thing I want from this end of this affair and that is,.."the Memories", Cozumel, New Orleans, Saugatuck, it goes on. I don't want that to go away. As I mentioned before, "How can one put a price tag on LOVE?"

I am moving out this weekend, because I cannot take the feeling of hate from her. I know she hates the fact I have been living here, because she wants to get along with her "new life" and, so do I. Come the following week we meet with a Mediator, how debasing. I guess I truly am an Artist like I have mentioned in previous blogs, an "emotional rollercoaster". I'm ready for an "Emotional Rescue". Summer's coming and the "Pirate" and I are planning sailing trips. The summer is always a band-aid for "winter's cruelty" and this passing winter held no stops!!

I have always had success and failure as my teachers. I guess that makes me an apt pupil! But, I have never let failure take the pleasure of presenting itself in the form of a "diploma". I will prevail once again only to engage new opportunity. LOVE! What a life I have lived, dear Readers. What friends I have, thank you All!! You are unique in your own ways and eccentricities (take that as a compliment), because this Artist, honestly, cannot tolerate the mundane.

The photos above I found this morning as I was packing items. They are from several years ago when I was invited by my good friend, Tom Rickling, in San Diego to a Jimmy Buffett concert out there. Irony came in the form of some of the worst weather San Diego had experienced and actually cast cold rain and wind on the area (my curse for going to too many JB concerts I'm sure). The photos are taken when Tom and friend Corina decided to take me to Tijuana for the day. We arrived there and still the same weather, cold rain!! After a lunch we decided to take in an off street bar with the locals. So it was for that chilly October afternoon three Gringoes entered the momentarily dismal and depressed "El Reno". We left one "helluva" happ'n bar!! Actually, we were told by the only english speaking patron that it was probably time for us to make our exit 'cause the locals were beginning to enjoy not only our generosities in the forms of tequila shots and Cervesas, but our money was looking good as well. WOW! What an afternoon!! Thanks, again, Tom!

Well, time for me to take advantage of the "springlike" 50degree weather and go for my run outside!! Got another Echocardiogram tomorrow morning to check on the "hole in my valve". Somebody suggested I drink a can of Leakstop..."works for radiators".

From the blogs of the "World's most Unfamous Artist" I say, "Adios!"