***If there are any comments in this new Blog that are repeated from others forgive me. I am at that "age" that repetition and golf carts become Life.
A recent comment to my previous blog has once again brought to my attention of the impact of how "paraphrasing" one's own life can have significant diverse meaning for the Reader. Let me "set the Record straight". This blog(site) is simply "a collection of my thoughts". It is a part of my Art. It's "birth" came from the frustration of "life in general", of a relationship (once again) torn asunder by consequences stemming from TWO people never REALLY allowing the ability to talk to one-another. AND!! from one person's "change" of personality. I'm not finger-pointing, but "I'm" pretty much "cut-n-dry". I admit I am not the easiest person to live with. Ask my children. They'll say, "Oh, yeah!" But, they know they are loved. And to me there can be no greater explanation of Life than that; the love from Family. REAL Family. Wherever I will be after my Divorce, my Family AND Friends will always be there. THAT in itself makes this world (especially in these uncertain times) worthwhile. How can one give up memories?! Good, bad, life as my father always expressed quite simply as, "...shit, or get off the pot."
There are no feelings in me of suicide. There are no feelings in me to go out and do a "stoopid stunt" involving large amounts of explosives and a lighter. "Which brings me to mind"! I know you all have witnessed "stoopid acts", right?! Or you have,..maybe even involved yourself in a couple. Imagine yourself "pulling up" to the gas pump to refuel. You get out of your car, reach for the hose and then,..you see it. At first you say, "naw..." and then you begin to "take in everything that tells you to instinctively return the hose to the pump, return to your car and drive away,..FAST!!" Because! Because you have witnessed a "stoopid act"!! Yes,..happened to me. Saw it, couldn't believe it, "oh hell, what am I thinking, this IS Michiana." I was ready to fill the tank of the mini van and I noticed on the other side of the pump was a "derelict" pickup truck complete with the dog from "Saliva World" sitting behind the steering wheel (I now know why). It was the bed of the truck that REALLY caught my attention, for in the bed was a man, neither young , nor old, sitting atop gas cans (this was when gas prices dropped from a "gajillion" dollars a gallon to slightly over $2, I'm sure he couldn't forecast the additional drops to come), still pouring gas into another and SMOKING A CIGARETTE!!! I kid you not!! Yes, dear Readers, stoopidity extends throughout the Nation beside the Banking Institutions, Auto Industry and our Government (I'm sure I'll burn for that comment).
So you see, there you have it. I love my life despite the "interruptions". So much to be thankful for, I'm certainly thankful I have never smoked cigarettes! Certainly thankful my parents gave us the opportunity to learn "how to survive". Thankful for my family and friends. And especially thankful I can run. I've never really had any other "pressing" goal, besides my Art and well, a good game of golf, but this "running thing"... can't really say, but it's my passion. Maybe it's the freedom I feel, the opportunity to run another mile farther. I do know it's certainly a stimulant for "mellowing" one's mind. I do know how it came about. In Jr. High I tried to compete in sports. Growing up Asthmatic "sucks"! Literally! Growing up with Asthma (I had it BAD people!! REAL BAD!!) was a pain. I couldn't do much as far as extensive play, exercise, etc., because it could trigger an attack. "Way back when", if I had an attack I had to take a pill and then wait for the effect of the pill which could take up to 30 minutes. If any of you out there have ever been diagnosed with "acute Asthma" YOU will understand. Back then there were no "magical" inhalers. To fully understand this take a plastic bag and put it over your head to completely cover it. Now tighten it around your throat just enough to allow a tiny bit of air, then breathe. That's Asthma. Asthma made my life difficult, but it didn't stop me from trying! "Screw the 'Bouts!!" ...Back to Jr. High.
I tried out for Track. Dear Readers, "what the Hell was I thinking?!" 8th grade and I can't remember cresting 4'10" and 65lbs!! Asthma really "played a number on me". Anyway, I think I made two tryouts then quit, "couldn't doit", but, that didn't stop me. Slowly, determinded, day by day, I ran. the Asthma eventually decided that I was not stopping and left. Years of suffering from lack of O2 just simply "went away". And that is when my Running said, "Let's see what these feet can do!!" Today at 55 (and getting younger :) !!!) Wintertime, indoor track (hate it) 5-7 miles. Warmer weather, outside, 8-10 miles. Summertime, HEAT (love the heat!), 10-12 miles...daily. Not bad, eh? Not training for any Marathons, any Races, just doin' it for ME.
I'm going to bring this Blog to a close by saying; my life REALLY IS a WONDERFUL life. I am blessed with Family and Friends. This Blog has become my "book" about my life, my thoughts, passions and the cold "slapintheface" at times. I have no desire to "pass on" early. I have no desire to sit atop gas canisters in the back of a truck smoking a cigarette! This Blog is not a CD, DVD, Tivo, VCR, Beta, however I have had the occassional "KODAK Moment". This "Internet thingie" kinda caught my interest to help publish my thoughts and how I think it has "come to this point". Therapy. My laptop is my pen and "good 'ol ATT" is providing the pages. At times I might come across as bitter, hopeless and confused, however, it is "all but that"! This is kinda my epitaph BEFORE I do "hitch that ride on the Celestial Train to parts unknown", but I only have to look outside my livingroom window to the house next door. "Eh?!" Yes, next door LIFE is a VERY precious commodity right now to my friend, Jane. Jane has Cancer, in a very bad way (if Cancer was just other than...). She smiles at me when I see her. Lovely lady and very optimistic, but realizes she's "got alot on her plate". Chemo, Radiation, Surgery...no, my life is NOT as bad as it sounds. Jane is just One of many in this world, I know that to be a fact. I cannot sit back in self-pity and not think of others. While in Nicaragua I learned for the first time the stark reality of how "brutal" life can be if you're borne into REAL poverty. It "rattled my flip flops" while driving through Managua and I noticed a very little girl 5, maybe 6 years old, begging while standing on a boulevard in heavy traffic. It was more crushing to see her anguish while she returned to the piece of cardboard she used for a cushion on that boulevard. She simply,..gave up. No, mind you, she didn't give up begging, that was her means for survival. But, as we passed by while sitting in the air-conditioned SUV, I saw her eyes. THAT HURT!!! HURT LIKE HELL!!! But, she's only One of the Millions and growing!!
Yes, Dear Readers, WE are BLESSED. If you're reading this while sipping your coffee, drinking your beer, wine, cold cola, YOU'RE BLESSED!! Even my friend "L" who was living in his car for some time, Dude, you experienced hell, but You have opportunity!! You are YOU!! Makes a helluva difference when you're 5 and growing up in Poverty than to be 55 and trying to make a new start! I believe in you. I believe in ME.
After this Divorce, I'll be glad not to notice a Macy's flyer, Vickie's Secret catalog on my table. I'll relish the absence of the "fu.... up" socalled Reality Shows. "OH! OH! HERE'S A GOOD ONE!!!" I'm sitting in the Nuggett (watering hole in downtown) tending a microbrew when this fellow comes into the bar...eh?! ready for this?!! He's dressed as....Brett Michaels from "Rock of Love"!! TO THE TEE!! Hair, Cowboy hat, fashionably tattered jeans,..EXCEPT!! This is where he failed,.."no Octane infused, Gravity-defying, Pornstar Tittied Bimboes!! Dude?!! WTF?!! Loser!! I nearly lost it! Yes, my "soontobe X" would've pissed her stretch denim jeans! (serial, people, no bitterness....)
Okay, Dear Readers, the Java is kick'n my kidneys! Gotta go...
From the flailing fingers of the World's most Unfamous Artist,...
Thank you! "I LOVE THIS BAR!!!"
There are no feelings in me of suicide. There are no feelings in me to go out and do a "stoopid stunt" involving large amounts of explosives and a lighter. "Which brings me to mind"! I know you all have witnessed "stoopid acts", right?! Or you have,..maybe even involved yourself in a couple. Imagine yourself "pulling up" to the gas pump to refuel. You get out of your car, reach for the hose and then,..you see it. At first you say, "naw..." and then you begin to "take in everything that tells you to instinctively return the hose to the pump, return to your car and drive away,..FAST!!" Because! Because you have witnessed a "stoopid act"!! Yes,..happened to me. Saw it, couldn't believe it, "oh hell, what am I thinking, this IS Michiana." I was ready to fill the tank of the mini van and I noticed on the other side of the pump was a "derelict" pickup truck complete with the dog from "Saliva World" sitting behind the steering wheel (I now know why). It was the bed of the truck that REALLY caught my attention, for in the bed was a man, neither young , nor old, sitting atop gas cans (this was when gas prices dropped from a "gajillion" dollars a gallon to slightly over $2, I'm sure he couldn't forecast the additional drops to come), still pouring gas into another and SMOKING A CIGARETTE!!! I kid you not!! Yes, dear Readers, stoopidity extends throughout the Nation beside the Banking Institutions, Auto Industry and our Government (I'm sure I'll burn for that comment).
So you see, there you have it. I love my life despite the "interruptions". So much to be thankful for, I'm certainly thankful I have never smoked cigarettes! Certainly thankful my parents gave us the opportunity to learn "how to survive". Thankful for my family and friends. And especially thankful I can run. I've never really had any other "pressing" goal, besides my Art and well, a good game of golf, but this "running thing"... can't really say, but it's my passion. Maybe it's the freedom I feel, the opportunity to run another mile farther. I do know it's certainly a stimulant for "mellowing" one's mind. I do know how it came about. In Jr. High I tried to compete in sports. Growing up Asthmatic "sucks"! Literally! Growing up with Asthma (I had it BAD people!! REAL BAD!!) was a pain. I couldn't do much as far as extensive play, exercise, etc., because it could trigger an attack. "Way back when", if I had an attack I had to take a pill and then wait for the effect of the pill which could take up to 30 minutes. If any of you out there have ever been diagnosed with "acute Asthma" YOU will understand. Back then there were no "magical" inhalers. To fully understand this take a plastic bag and put it over your head to completely cover it. Now tighten it around your throat just enough to allow a tiny bit of air, then breathe. That's Asthma. Asthma made my life difficult, but it didn't stop me from trying! "Screw the 'Bouts!!" ...Back to Jr. High.
I tried out for Track. Dear Readers, "what the Hell was I thinking?!" 8th grade and I can't remember cresting 4'10" and 65lbs!! Asthma really "played a number on me". Anyway, I think I made two tryouts then quit, "couldn't doit", but, that didn't stop me. Slowly, determinded, day by day, I ran. the Asthma eventually decided that I was not stopping and left. Years of suffering from lack of O2 just simply "went away". And that is when my Running said, "Let's see what these feet can do!!" Today at 55 (and getting younger :) !!!) Wintertime, indoor track (hate it) 5-7 miles. Warmer weather, outside, 8-10 miles. Summertime, HEAT (love the heat!), 10-12 miles...daily. Not bad, eh? Not training for any Marathons, any Races, just doin' it for ME.
I'm going to bring this Blog to a close by saying; my life REALLY IS a WONDERFUL life. I am blessed with Family and Friends. This Blog has become my "book" about my life, my thoughts, passions and the cold "slapintheface" at times. I have no desire to "pass on" early. I have no desire to sit atop gas canisters in the back of a truck smoking a cigarette! This Blog is not a CD, DVD, Tivo, VCR, Beta, however I have had the occassional "KODAK Moment". This "Internet thingie" kinda caught my interest to help publish my thoughts and how I think it has "come to this point". Therapy. My laptop is my pen and "good 'ol ATT" is providing the pages. At times I might come across as bitter, hopeless and confused, however, it is "all but that"! This is kinda my epitaph BEFORE I do "hitch that ride on the Celestial Train to parts unknown", but I only have to look outside my livingroom window to the house next door. "Eh?!" Yes, next door LIFE is a VERY precious commodity right now to my friend, Jane. Jane has Cancer, in a very bad way (if Cancer was just other than...). She smiles at me when I see her. Lovely lady and very optimistic, but realizes she's "got alot on her plate". Chemo, Radiation, Surgery...no, my life is NOT as bad as it sounds. Jane is just One of many in this world, I know that to be a fact. I cannot sit back in self-pity and not think of others. While in Nicaragua I learned for the first time the stark reality of how "brutal" life can be if you're borne into REAL poverty. It "rattled my flip flops" while driving through Managua and I noticed a very little girl 5, maybe 6 years old, begging while standing on a boulevard in heavy traffic. It was more crushing to see her anguish while she returned to the piece of cardboard she used for a cushion on that boulevard. She simply,..gave up. No, mind you, she didn't give up begging, that was her means for survival. But, as we passed by while sitting in the air-conditioned SUV, I saw her eyes. THAT HURT!!! HURT LIKE HELL!!! But, she's only One of the Millions and growing!!
Yes, Dear Readers, WE are BLESSED. If you're reading this while sipping your coffee, drinking your beer, wine, cold cola, YOU'RE BLESSED!! Even my friend "L" who was living in his car for some time, Dude, you experienced hell, but You have opportunity!! You are YOU!! Makes a helluva difference when you're 5 and growing up in Poverty than to be 55 and trying to make a new start! I believe in you. I believe in ME.
After this Divorce, I'll be glad not to notice a Macy's flyer, Vickie's Secret catalog on my table. I'll relish the absence of the "fu.... up" socalled Reality Shows. "OH! OH! HERE'S A GOOD ONE!!!" I'm sitting in the Nuggett (watering hole in downtown) tending a microbrew when this fellow comes into the bar...eh?! ready for this?!! He's dressed as....Brett Michaels from "Rock of Love"!! TO THE TEE!! Hair, Cowboy hat, fashionably tattered jeans,..EXCEPT!! This is where he failed,.."no Octane infused, Gravity-defying, Pornstar Tittied Bimboes!! Dude?!! WTF?!! Loser!! I nearly lost it! Yes, my "soontobe X" would've pissed her stretch denim jeans! (serial, people, no bitterness....)
Okay, Dear Readers, the Java is kick'n my kidneys! Gotta go...
From the flailing fingers of the World's most Unfamous Artist,...
Thank you! "I LOVE THIS BAR!!!"
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