As I look back at the previous year I sit here and wonder how we'll fare in '09. 2008 just seemed to SLAM everyone I knew! It came like a scirocco leaving a desert wasteland full of misery, defeat, death, loss of jobs,...I could go on.
Mine started July 5th that's about the time I decided to start writing on this blogsite. I needed to vent, cry, express the moments sadness and joy. The trials, tribulations, the vanquished loves of "not only myself", but of others, 2008 had to be, by far, the most horrendous year I have lived! It amazes me the amount of crap that came to the world seemingly overnight. Gas prices?!! Whassup with that?!! Some places encroaching and exceeding $5 p/gallon! And now?!! I have to ask, "Who benefitted? And what was their motive?" I'm not going there. Not now. This is the morning after 2008. No Politics today.
I'm writing this looking out of my studio window. My Studio. This too, shall pass. I will be leaving a life I thought was there forever. I've learned, "nothing, absolutely nothing, lasts forever". I know too that it is now ME. As I said before the world is now mine. How I create it, how I address it from a daily basis is totally up to ME. And likewise, it is up to YOU, my devoted Readers.
I look back at '08 and reminesce the posts I wrote. I vented and at one point, realised that my opinionated rantings hurt someone. NOT my intentions! No, this person is not out to hurt anyone. I did receive a lot of good comments. I thank you! I have found I have a follower from Norway, of all places. Damned, the internet is an awesome machine! I have had fun writing most of the blogs. Some of the ones that were "dark" were my therapy sessions. As a matter of fact, I had signed up for therapy at one point. It was a horrible moment when I thought I had lost control of MY life. I didn't think suicide, but I felt as the world was falling away. I do dream of a lifestyle and it seemed at that moment to be "ebbing" away. It was scary. However, my children came to my rescue, unknowing their father was on the brink of a mental breakdown, which I never would've admitted at the time. It was from them I had learned to LOVE myself. I had unfinished business. I don't want to die without having tried! My kids are too precious to me to ever let them down. I gained insights from my children that told me they are now ADULTS. They were giving their 'ol man advice and I listened! The best advice (and it still makes me laugh) came from my oldest son Seth. I swear, that boy gets his brains from his mother! Pisses me off that I lack foresight, but my "Ex", Rebecca, raised them well. Seth gave me a bit of advice that held two options. I pondered them. They were going to take time for a decision. I made it. That will not be told, but will come to fruition when the time is right. No, nothing drastic!! Gawd! You Radicals!! My thought processes work slow. Over time, I've come to learn this (no pun intented),..HA!! It was funny!! I digress. I had to sort things out. Like I said, it's now about ME. I called off the therapy sessions.
2009. I dunno what it is, but something feels strange. In a good way. I'm going to follow MY dreams. It's time. The photo above (not the best shot) is my morning after shot. I'm looking at it and I think to myself, "MAN! WHAT A RIDE!" There's some times behind those wrinkles and some stories behind those eyes. I have to be confident. I have to believe. I exacted those to my "soon to be EX, but, she doesn't see it right now. I gave her confidence when she was down. I told her when she felt defeat to keep trying. I told her that "someone, some company" would find her and "let them run with the ball!" She has a lot to offer. I know that. Today, she's a very precious commodity to her organisation and they thank her, repeatedly. Funny, how I can see that in others and not myself. I told my children growing up "Be what you want, I believe in you." They're getting there. My son Seth is a computer guru working with a company based worldwide. This kid blows my mind with his knowledge! My daughter Audrey is going back to school to study Radiology. She "aced" her tests to avoid taking classes she didn't need. My youngest son, James-Michael, well,...he's living large in Indy. Not so much financially (doing better than his dad right now), but living his life the way HE wants to. The lad reminds me so much of myself I need to keep tabs on him. He's very talented and has a lot of ideas. I want him to succeed as an Artist! He'll do it.
So, wrapping this up,...2009 for me?!! I've got some ideas and several projects in the making. I've a show comin up late Spring (gotta bustamove on that!), a logo I want to promote (been sitting on it for years) and I just started trying to market my salsa. Gave it to a couple of business people and asked, Well, can we sell it?!"
Failure is not an option. Life has "ups, downs, tragedies, joy, etc. It's how we handle it and how we've been influenced throughout our lives. Especially, from birth! My childhood was tough! However, knowing that makes ME responsible for the rest of my life. It is and will always be,...
A Chronolgical History of the World's most Unfamous Artist!
2009 People!!! It's our, Baby!!!!
Mine started July 5th that's about the time I decided to start writing on this blogsite. I needed to vent, cry, express the moments sadness and joy. The trials, tribulations, the vanquished loves of "not only myself", but of others, 2008 had to be, by far, the most horrendous year I have lived! It amazes me the amount of crap that came to the world seemingly overnight. Gas prices?!! Whassup with that?!! Some places encroaching and exceeding $5 p/gallon! And now?!! I have to ask, "Who benefitted? And what was their motive?" I'm not going there. Not now. This is the morning after 2008. No Politics today.
I'm writing this looking out of my studio window. My Studio. This too, shall pass. I will be leaving a life I thought was there forever. I've learned, "nothing, absolutely nothing, lasts forever". I know too that it is now ME. As I said before the world is now mine. How I create it, how I address it from a daily basis is totally up to ME. And likewise, it is up to YOU, my devoted Readers.
I look back at '08 and reminesce the posts I wrote. I vented and at one point, realised that my opinionated rantings hurt someone. NOT my intentions! No, this person is not out to hurt anyone. I did receive a lot of good comments. I thank you! I have found I have a follower from Norway, of all places. Damned, the internet is an awesome machine! I have had fun writing most of the blogs. Some of the ones that were "dark" were my therapy sessions. As a matter of fact, I had signed up for therapy at one point. It was a horrible moment when I thought I had lost control of MY life. I didn't think suicide, but I felt as the world was falling away. I do dream of a lifestyle and it seemed at that moment to be "ebbing" away. It was scary. However, my children came to my rescue, unknowing their father was on the brink of a mental breakdown, which I never would've admitted at the time. It was from them I had learned to LOVE myself. I had unfinished business. I don't want to die without having tried! My kids are too precious to me to ever let them down. I gained insights from my children that told me they are now ADULTS. They were giving their 'ol man advice and I listened! The best advice (and it still makes me laugh) came from my oldest son Seth. I swear, that boy gets his brains from his mother! Pisses me off that I lack foresight, but my "Ex", Rebecca, raised them well. Seth gave me a bit of advice that held two options. I pondered them. They were going to take time for a decision. I made it. That will not be told, but will come to fruition when the time is right. No, nothing drastic!! Gawd! You Radicals!! My thought processes work slow. Over time, I've come to learn this (no pun intented),..HA!! It was funny!! I digress. I had to sort things out. Like I said, it's now about ME. I called off the therapy sessions.
2009. I dunno what it is, but something feels strange. In a good way. I'm going to follow MY dreams. It's time. The photo above (not the best shot) is my morning after shot. I'm looking at it and I think to myself, "MAN! WHAT A RIDE!" There's some times behind those wrinkles and some stories behind those eyes. I have to be confident. I have to believe. I exacted those to my "soon to be EX, but, she doesn't see it right now. I gave her confidence when she was down. I told her when she felt defeat to keep trying. I told her that "someone, some company" would find her and "let them run with the ball!" She has a lot to offer. I know that. Today, she's a very precious commodity to her organisation and they thank her, repeatedly. Funny, how I can see that in others and not myself. I told my children growing up "Be what you want, I believe in you." They're getting there. My son Seth is a computer guru working with a company based worldwide. This kid blows my mind with his knowledge! My daughter Audrey is going back to school to study Radiology. She "aced" her tests to avoid taking classes she didn't need. My youngest son, James-Michael, well,...he's living large in Indy. Not so much financially (doing better than his dad right now), but living his life the way HE wants to. The lad reminds me so much of myself I need to keep tabs on him. He's very talented and has a lot of ideas. I want him to succeed as an Artist! He'll do it.
So, wrapping this up,...2009 for me?!! I've got some ideas and several projects in the making. I've a show comin up late Spring (gotta bustamove on that!), a logo I want to promote (been sitting on it for years) and I just started trying to market my salsa. Gave it to a couple of business people and asked, Well, can we sell it?!"
Failure is not an option. Life has "ups, downs, tragedies, joy, etc. It's how we handle it and how we've been influenced throughout our lives. Especially, from birth! My childhood was tough! However, knowing that makes ME responsible for the rest of my life. It is and will always be,...
A Chronolgical History of the World's most Unfamous Artist!
2009 People!!! It's our, Baby!!!!
Posts
1 comment:
Hey there!. I wish I had the courage to write as you do. My stuff seems silly in comparison.
No doubt here that 2009 will be productive, I can feel it.
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