Enough!

I have had enough! Enough snow! Enough cold! Enough!! And this is maniacal since I CAN move! I can! I'm lookin'! Lookin' South! Far South! Very far!! Listened to some Jimmy Buffett this afternoon whilst doing my deliveries. Wrong! You know, for as much as the Man makes me feel good about livin' life as a Tropical Gypsy there is that very small factor of his songs which hit me hard! They're his "Heart Songs" I shall call them. Two in particular that move me to the edge of sadness are what I listened to this afternoon. Why?! Why not.
One that effected me most was one that I feel right now after years of giving. And that is what i do best! Give. I give and ask nothing in return. So it is with much sadness that I have given many years to someone and asked nothing in return. Maybe I should have. Now I do!
Jimmy's song hits home. I had no goals of my own, just to give what I could, all I could to see someone else reach their own. In return I guess I expected the only thing, to be loved forever, unconditionally. ..? "What the fu.. was I thinking?!!?" So the end result; "I'm Jaded." Yep! 100%!! Don't want to EVEN think about fallin' in love with ANYBODY, EVER!!! TOO MUCH WORK AND TIME TRYING TO PLEASE SOMEONE ELSE 24/7.
Hey! I said this Blog was about me. My time out to Vent. To feel a bit down now and then, I'm entitled. Confusion is a state of mind, at times.
Winter. "Bah Humbug!" Winter will drag most down like a stormy sea. The faint of mind will go ALL the way. Me, well, thank God for bills!! Visa, MC, insurances, ...pretty screwed up, eh? My saving grace; Bills and Anthony Bourdain's, "No Reservations". That Dude has my "dream Job"!
I'm digressing. I haven't written in my Blog for quite some time. For a while it was pretty often. Need to focus. Need to focus for my upcomiong show.
I'm ranting. Boring. I'll write later. Just wanted to see myself think.
The other Buffett song? Well, I want it played at my "wake"/ Tiki Party. It goes (maybe I've written this before, if so, forgive me)

"Some people never find it. Some only pretend, but me. I just want to live happily-ever-after every now and then."
C'est Bonne!