Wow.

Need to get back to "blogging". I miss it.
Did read past posts last night and was amazed with some of the stuff I wrote in the past. Wow! Some of it good, some bad. Interesting to review the past, almost 2 years of my life and what i was going through then and where I'm at now.
Most interesting is "how and who" I am now. I know I'm a helluvalot happier now and have had some good and interesting moments, opportunities and decisions since.
...wow....

REVELATIONS

I've been a "hard working sonamuhbitch" ALL my life. And throughout it, I have been naiive enough to be thwarted, side-tracked and even given away my earnings and LIFE savings for "Love". I am a very caring individual when it comes to persons and their plight(s). As a matter of fact I can say I "pissed away" real estate, retirement and "health care" through a simple "roll of the dice" for Love.

I have been "used, taken advantage of and led to believe I was the one at fault". I was ALWAYS the one who ended up making apologies when it should've been the other party. However, I understand that now, because that person simply "lacked the concept" of what an apology (a verbal, from the heart apology) meant. Call it "self pride", or "call it, "fuck you, you're an asshole". I can accept that, really! Basically, I do believe in "what goes around comes bitchslappin' backatcha!"

Boiled down this equates to the fact that I "have to start my life from the ground up." And you know? I am! Thanks to being a "hard working sonamuhbitch" who's talented, believes in himself, is resilient and has the faith of friends and family. It goes without saying.

There is one thing though that bothers me more than ANY thing in this world and that is, "blaming your lowlife-freaking existence on everybody and anything else!" When you become ANGERED and IRRITATED about life and the bullshit it deals you....?! And when someone (like me) wants to give a helping hand only to SEE that my hand is doing nothing than MAINTAINING their ADDICTION to the lowlife misery YOU conjour up....I say, "FUCK YOU!" And FUCK YOU for blaming your petty bullshit on me and others!

TOO BAD you live outta the pocket change of others! "I BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND AM DEALING WITH IT!" "GETTA LIFE, OR GET REHAB!" "BUT NEVER,..NEVER,..FUCKING EVER,..BITCH AT ME FOR YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!!!!!!"

and I quote; "Here is the deal. It's a real simple factoid:Once you pick up the pipe, it doesn't let you go. Ever."

I am so sorry. And I am sorry I read that. I saw talent that was and still remains in a pool of self-pity. Me, I prefer knowing at the end of the day that "I am loved." My children, my friends,..it's unconditional! They know I love and laugh and "relish" each freaking moment of my life, because of this one ideal. And that is, "tomorrow is going to be a better day, because I WANT it to be!"

"If you can't deal with reality, than stick with the Dealer."

Profundity at 4:30 in the morning

I really need to think what I have done all MY LIFE, what did I do all MY LIFE, why I did what I did all MY LIFE and "what the fuck I'm gonna do with the rest of MY LIFE."

It is comparable to almost stepping in dogshit; "you see it, acknowledge it, respect it and ignore for the next dumbass to step in it."

(I need to know how these tidbits of "profundity arise"....is it the Tequila?!?)

**as written in Facebook February 2, 2010 by the "Tropical Gypsy"**

Doh!

Wanted to write...maybe I'd rather "veg". Guess I'm tired, deeply tired. It was a helluva year, that 2009! Good memories, bad memories, happiness, hurt. I find I still carry fucking "baggage". Closure? Never had it. Can't be pissed off, that just doesn't do anything except waste time and energies toward a "new future".

And then I'm not alone. I find that life has dealt a "mind numbing" club to thousands. Just check online dating,.."no, don't". Everybody is looking for a prince, or princess! Insanity!

Like the song sings, "Somewhere over the Rainbow, way up high. And the dream that you dream of...."

Somebody get me a Eukelele!

Well, this is it for tonight. Just not in the mood. Braincloud!

Happy 2010 Everybody!

AAARGH!!! and they be "Pirate Friends!"

Once inawhile, one might find one's self lookin' up the sidewalls of a "cruiser", in my case, someone with a "Sailboat"! (gregorian chant, here)
With that however, comes the rudimentary art of "seduction' precipitated by the "Pirate" whom "unleashes" this nasty spirit upon you! Oh, yeah, "hellbent" to ruin anything you thought synonymous to the 21st century, "well, you mi'as well forgetit!"
This friend of mine...how do I descibe someone "indescribible?" A "Pirate".
So,...you find yourself given to the "winds as locomotion..." Awesome. So,...you find yourself given to the ways of "piracy".
"Can you see yourself without the "veil of recluse"?
...if so,..please "snd by".......

"Tales of the Tropical Gypsy" Chap.3

Not sure of his surroundings, Jo tried to focus through the veil of light and blood. His head roared from pain! The queasiness in his stomach took hold and a volume of "interrupted bile" escaped his esophagus! "FUCK!" What the fuck,..motherf..." Another blow. This one, however, did not take him out. Instead, it made him "reel like a bull gone mad"! As Jo jumped to his feet ready to "play hell" on his attackers, he immediately withdrew any formidable stance that should "warrant another blow to the head".

Looking through the trickle of blood that blurred his vision, there in front of him, were a small group of men brandishing three foot long machette's. To his count, Jo could see clearly he was, outnumbered. The men had no expression on their faces. "Their's" was what one might assume, "Duty". To the left of the group stood an older and sinewy man dressed as one might find a "farmer". He probably crested no more than five feet in stature, but by the stains of crimson liquid on the hilt of his machette, Jo determined this was the "Badass" that brought him down.

Jo's expression brought the next volley of words, all in "fucking spanish!" "Hey! speak fuckin' english, will ya'?!" The response?...another blow of the machette'd hilt carried by the old Man. "Jo, tasting the liquid oozing from swollen lips, sat rigid. "This dude is pissed AND so am I!", he thought. "Hey! I think there's some mistake", he yelled gingerly. "Comprende'?" With that, the "older Man then made a "several paragraph statement" toward Jo that made Jo feel like, this "dude", was TOTALLY pissed at him! "Amigo! What have I done to offend you?! Please, tell me why you're beating the crap outta me and I don't KNOW FUCKIN" WHY!!?!" "Whack!"

"Goddammit, motherf.." "Whack!" This time Jo succummed to the pain. "Ahhh,...the bliss,..take me awayyyyyyy Calgonite!"

Eyes barely open, Jo realised he was bound "hand and foot" by the plastic strips which cut into his skin. Too, he was being carried by several of the other men, followed by the "old Man" only to be placed into a parked van outside his apartment! "Fuck! He thought. Fuck it!" Not only was Jo bound, he was gagged as well, no screams for help..."fuck". The side door opens and Jo is thrown inside. He flails about, uselessly. His captors kick and laugh at him. The "old Man" yells something in spanish and they all recess to the walls of the van. And then, a door to the front of the van opens. "Celeste? Celeste...is it you? Help me, help...another blow and Jo is unconscious once again.

Friends

I haven't written a new post for quite sometime. I've allowed myself to become immersed in outside interests. which, some I might add just take away the "valuable and creative" time I have on this "spinning little Orb". I want to write, while it's fresh in my mind, about "my friends". I started this blog sometime back about "influences" in my life and it named a few (friends). I now however, want to write about those people in my life that have 'influenced" me to some degree, but most importantly, are people whom have "given" to me more than just that, they have given me their "friendship"! There is no chronological order and I will try to write about each and everyone of you. If I forget some of you, please quietly, discreetly send me a note. And forgive me, should I do forget, because over the course of my Lifetime I have amassed an amount of friends I never dreamed possible. Thank you!

My first Friend (and you will all remain anonymous, just for the fun of you trying to figure it out!) I will mention while fresh in my mind (and unfortunately, this blog will be short, but to the point). He is a True Friend, at first I didn't realise how much, whom has Given to me without ever asking anything in return (as you all do), but I always seemed to think there was a "payoff". Allow me to explain; I thought his constant "ushering" of me into "helping" him with his projects, activities, etc., was a way to channel a friendship. You know, you think you're only a friend, because you can help them with "their causes, or their projects and in return, "what do you get"?

Over the past year I realise how "blind" and selfish I was. I am deeply embarassed and hurt by how "I felt and thought". This Friend wanted me to be there for him and to help, yes, but it was more that he wanted me to be there, because "I am a Friend" to him! Last night I embarked on a "new project" with him. he called and asked, "Lidecker, can you help with the store for a couple nights a week?" I thought to myself, "yeah, but it's a Thursday and a Fri..." and without a second thought said, "Yes!" For two reasons....

The first reason is plain, simple and to the point, "I owe him!" He has helped me with my life during those "dark moment's", during that fateful and "day-to-day" time when existence was a daily "chore" (there were quite a few of you whom helped as well and you will be mentioned in further blogs). He gave me Shelter, a new Home and an opportunity to retrieve some of the "creature comforts" I had lost prior. What he asked for in return, well,...here's the second reason.

This Friend has given more than to just me. He has given to everyone, even our town! He has tried to give everyone an "opportunity and a good time" and has NEVER asked for anything in return except, "enjoy!" I remember that fateful time back in 2001, when America saw in recent history, it's country being attacked. September 11, my birthday. My Friend had purchased, prior to the "attack" two tickets to see Jimmy Buffett in Indy (my birthday present). We were to leave that afternoon, but the concert was cancelled. My Friend called me and said, "Dude? Let's go get a drink." So, while America sat, glued in front of their TV's at home, work, train stations and the Bars, in shock and disbelief, we sat at our barstools cursing the Enemy for having our "Jimmy Buffett" concert cancelled! Much Tequila flowed that afternoon!

That will be the one and only thing I will mention about my Friend, because I really do not have time this morning and to recount ALL the wonderful things He has done for me would take pages. I'm sorry. However, it is the most important one, because from "now on and for the rest of my Birthdays", I will not only be reminded what happened to America that day, but I will be reminded of the "most memorable" Birthday of my life and to have spent it with my Friend, well, as they say..."Priceless!"

I love You, my Friend.