REVELATIONS

I've been a "hard working sonamuhbitch" ALL my life. And throughout it, I have been naiive enough to be thwarted, side-tracked and even given away my earnings and LIFE savings for "Love". I am a very caring individual when it comes to persons and their plight(s). As a matter of fact I can say I "pissed away" real estate, retirement and "health care" through a simple "roll of the dice" for Love.

I have been "used, taken advantage of and led to believe I was the one at fault". I was ALWAYS the one who ended up making apologies when it should've been the other party. However, I understand that now, because that person simply "lacked the concept" of what an apology (a verbal, from the heart apology) meant. Call it "self pride", or "call it, "fuck you, you're an asshole". I can accept that, really! Basically, I do believe in "what goes around comes bitchslappin' backatcha!"

Boiled down this equates to the fact that I "have to start my life from the ground up." And you know? I am! Thanks to being a "hard working sonamuhbitch" who's talented, believes in himself, is resilient and has the faith of friends and family. It goes without saying.

There is one thing though that bothers me more than ANY thing in this world and that is, "blaming your lowlife-freaking existence on everybody and anything else!" When you become ANGERED and IRRITATED about life and the bullshit it deals you....?! And when someone (like me) wants to give a helping hand only to SEE that my hand is doing nothing than MAINTAINING their ADDICTION to the lowlife misery YOU conjour up....I say, "FUCK YOU!" And FUCK YOU for blaming your petty bullshit on me and others!

TOO BAD you live outta the pocket change of others! "I BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND AM DEALING WITH IT!" "GETTA LIFE, OR GET REHAB!" "BUT NEVER,..NEVER,..FUCKING EVER,..BITCH AT ME FOR YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!!!!!!"

and I quote; "Here is the deal. It's a real simple factoid:Once you pick up the pipe, it doesn't let you go. Ever."

I am so sorry. And I am sorry I read that. I saw talent that was and still remains in a pool of self-pity. Me, I prefer knowing at the end of the day that "I am loved." My children, my friends,..it's unconditional! They know I love and laugh and "relish" each freaking moment of my life, because of this one ideal. And that is, "tomorrow is going to be a better day, because I WANT it to be!"

"If you can't deal with reality, than stick with the Dealer."