It was near the end of the 70's and the beginning of the 80's. All vestiges of John Lidecker were erased through my "own experimentation of Life's enhanced Pleasures". It was the end of a naive country boy and the creation of a "self-absorbed, come-what-may, overindulging asshole". I can say that now. Back then there was a bet amongst the following group of friends whom had an inside bet I wouldn't see my 30th birthday. They almost won.
Dear Readers, the following passages may, or may not be real. My writings are "through my eyes". Some of it to try to protect whom I write about and the other?!! well, through "rose-coloured glasses".
Disco was "on the rise" (oh god!), the Mullet was now more stylish (EEEK!!), "good cocaine was now the "cool choice of hip" and could make a monkey speak seven languages fluently", the introduction of the new "look" was oversized tennis shoes and full calf stockings (for the ladies...of course, the full body leotards were a bit awesome I might add). It was cool to wear your collar up! Your long hair was revamped by stylists "feathering, or layering" it (very stylish). And if you had a job that was a bonus!
1976. Close to 1980. Close enough that what I am about to write I can honestly and assuredly say, if I could go back and change "that certain part of my life", well, it'd be tempting. However, I wouldn't be who I am today; a bit wiser, a bit street-smart, a bit wounded, but "I really like me!" I like who I have fostered. I have the greatest group of friends in the world! I have my beautiful and successful children who love me! I have a cool brother and a freaky sister. I dig Jimmy Buffett, drank rum and tequila in a small village on the the jungled Pacific coast of Nicaragua (only Gringo in town that day I might add). Gotta a parrot for my "Parrotthead attitude" tattooed to my chest, a nipple ring and I don't smoke, run 7-10 miles daily and drink tequila and swill beers! You gotta say "Life is good!" Nicht wahr?!
Okay, back to story hour. So, it was 1976, maybe 1975, it's blurry. As I said earlier the beginning and end of John Lidecker as he once was. I was working for the school system as a "teacher's aide" working with emotionally impaired and learning disabled children. I loved it at first. In college I was studying all the classes I needed to become a teacher someday for these "innocent tragedies". Psych, Soc, Education,..I took it all in with a desire to master tools for the trade. And did well. So well as a matter of fact, that when I decided to leave, the school administrator for this particular department "begged me to stay"! Why didn't I?!! Let's just say I discovered I was just as emotionally impaired and disabled as they. Too!! I didn't appreciate the discrimination they faced in life and by some of the other teachers as well. I digress.
We had a summer camp program for the children which I enjoyed as well as the kids. My teacher from the school system and myself had our classroom involved in a 6 week program which gave them an opportunity to live "outside the walls" of discipline so to speak. And it was there I met the "Devil Incarnate". He was the epitomy of Charles Manson with the flair and protocol of Clark Gable. He was intelligent enough to teach a sanskrit and as reckless as a redneck with a loaded shotgun and a case of Budweiser shopping at Christmas. I'll never forget the day we met at camp. He introduced himself and kind of..."took command" of my naive persona immmediately saying, "Follow me." As I stumbled behind him with a small party of the children along a wooded path I "wondered what he was up to. Just met the fellow. Quite a few children he has in charge." After a hundred yards into the woods he stopped, looked around, then said, "Watch this." What seemed to be lightning agility on his part was only my dumb reaction to what happened. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a small deringer and fired two shots into a nearby tree!!! Children scattered in all directions myself included. Above it all I could hear him nearly choking from laughter in the woods. Collecting and calming the children took some time. When it was all over his antic became the fixation of me and the kids. We were intrigued. "How and why the hell?!" But, my Dear Readers, that was it, finito, sayonara, ende,..buh-bye for John L. "Hellooo, Risque'!!!
My new friend had a group of cohorts which I became a part of "the Pack" through an indoctrination I will not speak of for fear of being wanted by the KGB (no animals were involved). "The Pack" was an assembly of fellows mostly from the St. Joe area (which I enjoyed because it took me closer to the Lake on an almost daily basis). Each had a nickname. For me to belong I had to assume one. So it was the moniker, "Risque'" was bestowed upon me when they discovered my talent (unbeknownst to me) of achieving a date whenever I wanted. Mostly, very desirable women. maybe they saw the self pity in my eyes...maybe it was how cool I dressed! HA!!! It was a time when I was most vulnerable, because of the ensuing destruction I imposed upon my relationship with my "High School Sweetheart".
Back to Camp. This is important, because I have to give my new friend an ID. He earned it (thus his old nickname was nixxed in place of the new from an eventful afternoon) from a lunchtime meal one of the children had. I will walk this one as "stepping on glass". It is a long time past. There was never the intent of harm. However, once again, feelings and emotions come into play. Luckily, no one was affected long term, except the person who made fun. Maybe he deserved the hell he created for himself thereafter....I know I did. Haven't seen him in over 20 years and don't know if he's alive. If he is then he like myself changed for the better. Back to lunch. Our children were from backgrounds in life that some of us will never know (THANK GOD!). Some were the by product of abuse physical and chemical. Some were merely DNA. One of my children was diagnosed severe autism. He amazed me the afternoon I saw him intently watching a bug. I approached his desk and as I was about to ask he told me the name in English and Latin of the spider he was playing with. He then began to tell me the different varieties and species, their English and Latin names and venomous, or non. He could also spell their Latin names!! He was 11 years old and in my classroom!! He was one of many of the child anomalies I found and can only hope he's teaching in a University somewhere...sorry, digressed again. Anyway one of the children was enjoying his lunch when his teacher (my friend) asked him, "What're you eating?" He began to burst out in his horrendous laughter and pointed to the child who at that moment was in a state of shock and confusion, "Lidecker, check this out! Robert Earl is munchin' on a chicken leg sandwich!" "Haw Haw Haw!!" It was then all mayhem ensued! Robert Earl had no recourse, but to bolt! And he did! It was Keystone Cops at Camp Crystal Springs! Robert was the fastest child on the planet that afternoon! Dear Readers I must be graphic over the next paragraph, because it is the ONLY way to allow you to envision what was going on. Robert Earl (don't know his last name and maybe that's not his first) was a 12 year old black child from a poor, oppressed family with little emphasis on education. He, unfortunately, was the by-product of society. He was destined to "F... Up"! Not his fault! Pisses me off when we can bailout ASSHOLES in business with false intentions, but we can't help our needy?!! WTF! So Robert Earl is running out of the campground with several adults in pursuit, myself being the runner of the group, could not catch him! As he ran I stopped and examined with amazement of this young child, black, in his underwear (couldn't afford a bathing suit), running through a tomato field presently being fertilized!! We all stopped. Then we ran toward the cars. An hour later and wondering what we were going to explain to his parents and Our Director the Camp received a phone call,..from the Old Tavern Inn. "Hey, you guys missin' a little one from your Camp? Well, we got a green negro (fertilzer from the tomato field) in his underwear bawling the livin' dayights here!"
God's honest truth! At the end of the day (our campers returned home every day) the teachers collected and after some moments of sobriety began to laugh. And then we began to laugh histerically! Who on this planet would believe what happened that afternoon?! And after confronting "The Pack" with our story it was with much agreement that my new friend's "new nickname" would be, "Chicken Leg Sandwich"! I kid you not.
Actually, I would love to tell you more about the experience I had at summercamp. About the time I got reprimanded. ...yes?! Okay, just one more then back to Story Hour. It was the last week of our 6 at Crystal Springs. The week when the "Christian Church Camp" brought their children. That one week is stressing for both groups. The Church Counselors as well as ourselves knew the possibilties of problems arising. And it so happened that one afternoon it was me that got in trouble. I was walking with some of the campers. Some happened to be from the Christian group and happened to be young girls (BACK OFF PERVS!!!). They must've been attracted to my long hair. I did have quite long hair back then! From the farside of the campground I could hear children laughing and one of the young campers was running toward me yelling at the top her voice, "Mr Lidecker! Come quick!" Oh no. As I ran around the side of one of the 2 story cabins I saw a group of little girls (from the Christian Group...it gets worse) laughing and pointing at the window on the second floor of the cabin. There he was, swinging from an open window,..buck naked. I stood there in awe. "What the hell?" I thought. "He forgot his meds?!!" Needless to say I didn't react quick enough and was soon surrounded by the Counselors from the Christian group. "Yours?" "Yep." "Get him down and get out." ...no time to react. Several days passed before I was informed to meet the Director. I was prepared to be fired. Instead, after listening to the apologies administered from our Director to the C group with the promise of my demise he stopped in mid sentence (puffing a pipe,...cool!) and looked intently at me momentarily then began laughing! "Forget to give him his Meds?" "Yep." He howled! "You should've heard them! They were out for blood! Yours! They called you a good for nothing Hippie!!" "Lidecker." "Yessir." "Don't let it happen again, you're too valuable." I walked out of his office shaking my head. I had been complimented by the Director, not fired. "WTF?!"
So it was the "Chicken Leg Sandwich" (whom I shall abbreviate, CLS) and I became the best of friends. He thought it was cool that I didn't get fired and took the scenario I was involved in to his friends embellishing it with how cool I was in telling off the C group! Didn't happen like that. Our group was comprised of the following; CLS, Risque', Killer, Mad Dog, Woody and Otto. We were informidable. Our credo was to see how many bars we could be thrown out of in a single night. Killer, the smallest in our group would try to pick a fight with the biggest brute he could find in a bar. We were crazy! Unleashed! Brazen!
I spiraled downward, my life was not mine anymore. CLS was losing it too. Our behavior was irresponsible. Note: You cannot mix alcohol with shotguns in a Volkswagon! I won't go into it, just trust me. Note: You DO NOT buy a brand new BMW and let your drinking buddies chase cats on sidewalks with it! NO!! Note: You do not invite your Party Animal Buddies to pick you up at work to go out partying (while we've been) when you teach Basketball at a Jesuit Seminary!! NO!! Double NO!! And!! And!! You don't tell your wife and daughters you're choosing drugs and alcohol over the family AFTER your wife has given you an option. No, unquestionably and without a doubt, no. CLS spent a week on my sofa before my wife said, "He's got to go." (knew him long enough to get married and start having my own children). I had managed to salvage what he could not; self-respect. Here was a man who could not say No. And honestly, began to scare the Bejeezus outa me!
So it was, the last morning I ever saw him, CLS rode off into the morning mist on his pink (faded red) Harley. I don't know where he is, but I do know this. That was one totally FU.... UP, dude! Scary thing is,..coulda been me. Take care, my friend.
In retrospect I must admit this blog as being the best therapy ever administered. It has given me the opportunity to review my past. It is me speaking to myself for others (who care to read) to listen. Your judgement is not my concern. It is mine. I am writing to try to understand how and why it is where I am in my life today. It is to look and critique what has ensued throughout my 55 years on this planet. My ups and downs, wins, losses, dreams, desires, passions!!! I love life!! Thank god my parents decided to create an embryo be it an act of love, or the aftermath of a night on the town. I love life for the fact that I can still feel pain, I can cry!! I thought I couldn't till I found myself on what I thought was another trainwreck in my life. I thought I couldn't until the day my friend "Lawrence" left town, defeated, penniless, pissed off and incapable of knowing what lay next on the horizon. I'm glad to know his journey might be going well for him, finally. And I thought I couldn't cry until my children told me they love me. "God, Life can be so fu..... lonely at times when we're confused", but, here I am. As I said before, it's now about ME. And I am trying to collect in my brainmass what I had left behind in the form of desires and goals, dreams.
I worked with the school system for several years before leaving. I would have been a great teacher. The passion was there. My experience in Art has afforded me opportunities. In 1976, our country's bi-centennial, I was asked to perform my art on the Art Train which was crossing the US. They had asked me to travel with them. I said no. I had a gallery frame several of my paintings. They wanted to sell them. I said no. I had a friend whom introduced me to a well known Artist based in New York city. He wanted to apprentice me. I said no. I was accepted into the University of Freiberg, Germany to continue my studies in Duetsch and Art. I said no. Accepted into the NY School of Design,...Chicago, U of M, IU, Bloomington,..the list goes. I met and did art work for Charley Finley (former owner of the A's). I have Art work in almost all the continental states. In Iran, Lebanon, Tasmania, England. It's out there. My Art has taken me to Nicaragua. And where it will take me next? It remains without a doubt though, my life has been out of the ordinary and I have to thank all those involved. Because, without You there would be no opportunity. There would be no reason to unfold the "Chronological History of the World's most Unfamous Artist"
"God, I love this Bar!!"
I have had enough! Enough snow! Enough cold! Enough!! And this is maniacal since I CAN move! I can! I'm lookin'! Lookin' South! Far South! Very far!! Listened to some Jimmy Buffett this afternoon whilst doing my deliveries. Wrong! You know, for as much as the Man makes me feel good about livin' life as a Tropical Gypsy there is that very small factor of his songs which hit me hard! They're his "Heart Songs" I shall call them. Two in particular that move me to the edge of sadness are what I listened to this afternoon. Why?! Why not.
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