can't sleep

It's 1:30 am and I can't sleep. I've always been somewhat of an insomniac. However, tonight I watched a couple movies on the DVD player that kept me up.
The first was about a mute played by the dude in Fargo with the big ears. He was a superintendent for an apartment complex in NY. I'll cut to the chase...He was trying to obtain custody of a young girl whose mother OD'd and had the most horrible luck trying to do so. He was taken aback by several pitfalls and was ready to give. However, it being Christmas and all that, he went into a church and cried. It was a profound scene which I'll come back to. The story ends with a happy note. He gets custody of the girl through the help of his father and stepmom. Going back to the church...Mind you, I am by no means a religious man, but I do believe in a soul. Be it that soul may become "one with the universe" when we die,..well, I'm not up for theological argument right now. What captivated me was the torment this person suffered throughout his life and the mere fact that he was ready to give up, because the odds were stacked against him, and he wept.
Forgive me for this dear readers, but I did too. I felt his anguish, frustration, etc.
There have been times when I felt life was totally out of control, MY control. But, I have the love of friends and family. This thing happening in my life right now is a CRISIS, As I mentioned earlier though, the Chinese see it as Trouble with Oppportunity. I am now in a mad rush to pursue my goals, my art, which is the passion that has driven me to do some great things with my art and then some pretty crazy things with my life. And usually I ended up getting kicked in the balls for it later. But, that's life.
The second movie I watched involved this young man with an incurable disease whom had weeks to live and sets out on a road trip to try to find a girl he knew in the 6th grade. He had fallen in love with her then, but they became seperated thereafter. So, he's on a quest until finally he finds her working in a carnival in Florida and dies on her sofa..... I dunno, but it was a good movie just the same, "The Zeroes" was the name.
So, now I can't sleep. So, I write.
Did go for a run with the new nipple piercing this afternoon. Didn't hurt, but reminded me it was there.
Life is "a trial" isn't it? For some it comes easy for others it is hard and painful. I remember when I was in Nicaragua last year and as we were driving through Managua I saw a little girl begging for money in a boulevard. She couldn't have been more than four years old. I wanted help her, but couldn't. People are poor down there. We are fortunate. I am fortunate. I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends.
And I've had a wild and crazy journey the past few months. If it weren't for my friends I think I'd be, well,..more sober?!!! Thanks for taking my TIKI bar Pirate! WE've had more fun in his living room than I did with the bar in my backyard. But, what happens at the TIKI bar, stays at the Tiki bar!!
WE're crazy! But, we love living!
Well, guess I'll turn on CNN and see what masterplan has been devised to rid this country of debt.