Sorry I've been absent in my blogs, Dear Readers. I shall quote from a dear and true longtime friend of mine, [from the blog Waking Up Horny] "Note to self: I think I'm lost. I've gone to go look for myself. If I get back before I return, please ask me to wait." Thank you, Laurence! If any of you out there want to read some interesting work by a truly gifted writer please visit, http://www.wakinguphorny.blogspot.com/ . This guy is ingenious. Actually, he was in one of my original blogs as to Inflences in my life.
And that brings me to my next blog. I am dedicating this blog to "my Children". There's been an addition along the way, Kellie, the daughter of my present wife and soon to be "X". Kellie regards me as her father and has borne one of my grandchildren. So I shall list "my Children" chronologically by age. (sorry, Kel Bel. I chose to make you last, but not least important).
Seth, my oldest, is my son from my first wife, Rebecca. God! You know, if I could go back...however, I'm here. I just wish that I could've in my "road to try to find myself" spent more time on the asphalt with him! As Seth would say, "Pops, forget it. I love you." What a wonderful talented lad he is. When Seth was a child, I think he was seven years, he contracted Cancer. A tumor formed behind one of his eyes. The doctor who was treating him prior said it was just swelling, probably due to an infection. The day the eyelid started to protrude his mother and I knew it was definetly NOT an infection. We drove Seth to Riley in Indy. The doctors immediately sent him into surgery for a biopsy. the result made my heart sink. How could this small, beautiful child have this?! As his mother and I looked around the hospital we saw others. Babies dying, children dying. What and how do we explain this to our son? During our trip back home we tried to explain to Seth the disease. I think at the time he knew something was fu.... up. I tried to explain it as a "bad cold". "DOH!!!" The child had CANCER!!
Seth, went through radiation, chemo, the child was doused and bombarded, but behaved as best as he could. He survived the torment. He had one eye that was just not the same as his other, but he had them both.
His mother and I divorced in 1990. Seth and my other two were taken away. Probably a good thing now that I look back. Children really need a nurturing mother and Rebecca was attentive. Seth and I (he being the eldest child) drifted apart. I accept blame for that. But he was rebellious to say the least. And sadly, it came to pass that he felt he was "old enough" to defy me as most boys do their fathers. It lasted for years, I ignoring him and he likewise. It really was tough trying not to acknowledge your own son and quite "childish" on my part. Finally, one day at a family birthday party Seth and I crossed paths. "JEEZUS!" My teenager had become a man! A big man!! He came up to me, hugged me, apologised, then we both wept as grown men should. Since then, he has been a beacon for me through my present troubled situation. He has surprised me with his knowledge and his wisdom. He has also borne to me two beautiful grandchildren. I must take time with my grandkids, 'cause "I'm livin' on overtime!" So, I say to my son, "Ich liebe dich, meinen sohn!"
Next in the "briarpatch" came Audrey, "Audio" is her nickname which is appropriate, 'cause she wailed and screamed as a baby!! Audio was the "leader of the pack". She was ambitious as a child as she is today. She was a very intelligent child as she is today. Audrey excelled at anything she attempted, softball, school, baton, etc. She was my little "tomboy", yet loved her Barbie Dolls. Once again, it saddened me the day they left when her mother and I divorced. And like her older brother, she too decided not to "see daddy" for awhile. However, she showed up at my doorstep with her younger brother one day (whilst married to this second woman) and apologised. I did too. Since then she has borne me two beautiful grandchildren. She's attending IU and working fulltime. she got her license in cosmetology and hair, but that "wasn't gonna get it". Audrey is a beautiful young woman with an opportunity in life I admire and wish I had more of. Through this time of hardship, she too has been there for me. And so to my daughter, thank you and I am proud of you. I love you, Audio.
Last on the totempole came James. "Jamers, Choad," good lord the teasing we ALL gave the lad. James was born on Christmas morning, the first baby in the hospital born!! I remember the nurses bringing him out wrapped in a Christmas Stocking. How apropo! James was my "palette" in life. There was something in the child that reminded me so much of myself. Growing up his actions and behavior was very similar to mine (I'm always on his toes to this day to do as I say and not as I have done!!!). James was a "clean" kid. Naive in a sense as I was growing up. And when his sister decided to not see me he was kind of "thrown into the same boat without a paddle". He, too, like his sister was on my doorstep apologising. To this day he reminds me more and more of me. He is ambitious with his Art, very Idealistic, very "GQ"! Snappy dresser! Talented! Excited about the world!! He's a damned good kid! Always has been. And to you my fledging "Andy Worhol", thank you, son. I never have said it enough to you, but I really do love you and am very proud of you and your present accomplishments.
Finally, Kellie (Kel Bel). It's wild! She was my stepdaughter, but behaved EXACTLY like my chldren!! We argued! We battled!! But through it all, I somehow became her "father". You know, nothing makes a man so proud when something so beautiful happens like that! She too has borne me a beautiful grandbaby. And to you my dear I say this, "Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be your father, it is truly an honour!" And DAMNIT!! When do I get to walk you down the aisle?!!!
So, Dear Readers, I shall wrap this up with this; I have lived a long life. Good, not so good. Wealth, not so much wealth. I have been a "neglectful" father, but I was too young in my mind. I am however, because of my children, the opposite today. Okay, Okay, some of you are saying "He still parties!" True, I am a Bohemian as was MY father. My lust for life is more "Jimmy Buffett" than most. However, my children have made me come to know my "otherside" and that is this, "I could never, ever paint a more beautiful canvas than my Children being in my life. I have to say there could never be more wealth than they!! They love me "unconditionally" for who I am and they know their father has the potential to become the Artist he desires. I cannot count the blessings they have given to me! I love them dearly.
Thank you my Children!! Thank you!!
I bid you, Good Night, dear Readers from the
World's most Unfamous Artist!
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