Passage "point of view" from the "Tropical Gypsy"

Tis argued We are but an organism by some. An’ Other’s will kill ya jus’ to make y’believe. Whate’er may Come. Whate’er might Be, “Tis my Journey an’ tis my Destiny to Understand y’all.” ~~~the Tropical Gypsy~~~

A Poem...Sonnet...of Love

If I were to write a song about Love.... It’s “Theme” would, of course, revolve around You! If Love was the “Theme” I would place You upon the “platter” of all to Be! Carry my Heart gently, for it is molded of Pain! Years doth make for the “Weak” of Love! Let Us dance in the “wake of despair”! I shall take thine gentle hand in mine... Allow me to placate upon Thine Cheek... The MOST gentle and virtuous... Kiss! Give Me the “Well of Life” that I might “afford You” an unknown capacity from my “Heart”! ~~~Gypsy~~~

Poem...The Red Dress

Her Dress so very red waved about! A Cape! Ah! She the Matador and I... Her Bull! Animal instinct of arousal. The Onlookers did engage Our Fight! That Dress so very red revealing Legs! Black shoes high with heel! Calves taut, muscled! Oh...”Abandon Ye!” “Toro!” screamed the Crowd! “Toro!” Her Dress so very red velvety a Cloak. Our Legs entwined with sweat, oils from skin. Her Busom pressed into my Chest. My Shirt exposes the Skin of a Man obsessed! That Dress so very red revealing Woman. My Hand upon Her buttock I squeeze! Tight, Wet, Supple! Toro now Beast engorged... Her Dress so very red captivating, undulating. Our Dance. The Night. The Crowd. Music stops. All stare in awe. While We kiss. Love the Dress so very red! ~~~the Tropical Gypsy~~~

Untitled Love Poem

I cannot “give You the Moon”. I cannot “move a Mountain”. I could never “swim the Ocean”. Nor could I ever “be your Knight”. I would treat You as a “Princess”. I would “sail the Ocean to be at Your side”. I would “move aside the Day” to give more time for You. I cannot “give You the Moon”, But I would “give my Life” for Thee. ~~~Gypsy~~~

Ode to the Healing Heart

As the “veil of Despair and self pity begins to lift and the Eyes begin to dry, so to does the Heart begin it’s Journey thru time called the “Healing Process’. And it is during that “period of Self-Nurturing” with Eyes tearless and brite! We see now with clarity of Our “not so distant Past” and say,... “What the HELL was I thinking?!” ~~~Gypsy~~~

Random Thoughts from early December

When I awoke this morn I was greeted with the profundity needed to try to understand this present “state of affairs’ within Our Nation. When I allowed the Dream to filter thru my mind extracting bits and pieces of the “Whole” “IT” came to me. The Visions I experienced during sleep are the “reflections” of my “Changing World”. I can see clearly now the reasons for my angst. I can understand too, “what is thought to be is no longer.” This World I have lived in for so many years...is gone. It is Changing and will continue to do so. Gone are the days of “Parades, Slogans, Banners and Pomp & Circumstance.” Gone...are those memories of “my World”. Our present “course” dictates a “new agenda”, a “New World”, so to speak. In the broad scope of things the World as I knew it, “slipped” by me. My eyes were closed! Closed to the true realities unfolding before me and I, in my lack, or desire of, ignored it. My World is not what it is... not what it appears to be. It is not the United States of America I grew up with. Gone are the days of heralding what “I, We thought was the “Order of Things”. Gone are the days of “Pride” in a Nation of prideful people. It’s been washed from our minds. It’s been ridiculed, left to decay in the “minds of those” we call “Baby Boomers”. Our Country, once a Destination is now a “Crossroads”. We are, today, “One with the rest of the World”. Some of us might say, “Well, it’s about time.” Others might say, “That’s just bullshit!” And then some of us will say, “It’s sad.” And that is where I am...sad. Do not judge me for it! Do not lambast me and say, “You cannot stop progress! You cannot live in the past!” Yes, “I can.” Tis my decision. Nothing wrong with it. My World holds no prejudice, avarice and does not throw stones! My World has pride! Pride in accomplishment. Pride in Individualism. Pride in the fact that what One man, or woman do...someone will try to do better. It’s called Ambition. I see clearly now that this Country as a “Crossroads” MUST change! It’s irrational to hold “old mores, values, beliefs and customs.” We are what I remember it’s name as, “The Melting Pot”. We have opened our doors to the ‘rest of the World” and in doing so caused a chain of events that threatens what was once held as an “Ideology” for ALL coming here! Today we are a nation of multiple religions, races, values and customs. Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist...the list grows! And you know what that makes Us today?...the “Crossroads”. We can yell at our Politicians, Corporations, etc., for “sending work abroad”, but IT isn’t the problem! The problem lies within the present American mindset. We are becoming a Global Nation. We are melting into the “Mix” that exists! Has Existed! So, with this newfound idea of “America gone Wild”, how can One not accept the facts of logic and therefore say, “Everything We once knew and believed must now be updated”?? And where do the Celebrations go? Where do MY ideals go? Think of the “Whole” when I ask this, because I’m searching for answers to mine own existence in this “New World”. Pledge of Allegiance? Fourth of July? Christmas? Thanksgiving?! Where will they be in this new world order? I daresay...they’re being slowly eradicated, beginning with the Children. So, I ask, is this what must be done in order to move forward? Is this the “evolution” of our Nation, Our Planet, Humanity? Or, am I just another “outdated, needs to be updated” Citizen, whose thoughts are...”poppycock”? I might be vague, but I’m searching for answers, reasons. I am open to ideas from all. And really, for the most part...I am Who I am... Human.

Untitled Passage....

Would I die for Love?.... I have. Many Times. ~~~the Tropical Gypsy~~~

Untitled Love poem

The wine did spill upon our blanket and We, slightly tilted, did laugh at ourselves for being so unabashed. No worries. And it was then, I feeling more Gypsy than usual, did stand only to fall upon the ground. And We laughed again! I rose again accomplishing the feat whilst touching the fingertips of my Love’s soft hand. “Dear Lady”, said I, and finding my words somewhat loose and languid, did try all the more to speak in a manner more custom to a Gypsy. “Dear Lady, I reckon too much wine We’ve had here today, But I wish it to empress upon You my “words of Love and Motive.” She did look upon my eyes with question and a slight twisted smile, no doubt the wine. Perhaps a smile to entice, for She is so beautiful! And again did I speak in my manner so serious, She almost giggled! “Ahem” said I, “I look at the Woman afore mine Eyes, Her smile, Her laugh, Her kisses do bring my Soul meaning!” “Lady, tis not reason We are here, yet methinks tis Fate which has wrought.” “And so it is that I shall give You my words which You can endear, or cast aside, but remember this...I speak from My Heart.” “Doing so, Dear Lady, I stand afore Thee naked, alone and subject.” She did slightly giggle and Her smile grabbed My Heart e’ermore! .... “I’ve Liv’d n Lov’d many a Lifetime. Been the Minion to Chance and Circumstance affording Me the moment to be Prince n Pauper.” “I’ve crossed Oceans fer Love n made Promises which were dashed! An’ there’s some things I’d rather not done and much more to do! I’ve seen the World in Mine own “Wee One’s” eyes n held Me Mother’s hand as She slipped quietly away from this life.” “I’ve ne’er tried to tell a Lie n I’ll die a’lookin’ fer the Truth. I’m perfectly Imperfect n step high in Me gait! An’ Me shoulders ‘ave hunkered whilst Love said goodbye.” “Yet all this is Me an’ some disagree wi’ Me attitude t’ward livin’ n dyin’. Tis that, no more! Must be the “Gypsy” inside.’ “Howe’er, Dear Lady, I can only say this.” “Were not fer this Moment, were not fer this Chance, do I reach out to You and ask fer a Dance.” “Tis music I hear when You speak in Me ears. An’ flowers do grow upon the Path that You walk.” “Yes, I’ve Loved many a time, but seems...wi’out reason, or rhyme. An’ maybe, jus’ maybe, I’m giv’n One More Time.” .... And upon the blanket in evenin’ Sun, did the Gypsy and the Lady exchange Their Love. ~~~the Tropical Gypsy~~~

Hello, from Afar!

Catchy Title, no doubt! Ehn! Been awhile since I've written and need to catch up! This time will be dif, however,..I'm posting my Poems and Short Stories as well. The Short stories will be "true" snippets of things that have happened in my Life. I will try to present them as they were at the time...sad, funny, or insightful. All in All..."tis my Journey!" Thank you coming and hope to entertain You as always!!! ~~~the Tropical Gypsy~~~

Uncontrolled Intention

"Uncontrolled Intention"

Is what I’m struggling toward. “I wish to meet my Nemesis, headlong!”
I wish to know why I was brought into this World, “Unintentional”...
and yet, my Life has been a struggle of “Intent”.
Sadly, “Without thought, Without purpose, but Inhibited”.

Parables.

And now my Art has found a “Path for Exploration”. How I approach
and if I enter this “Avenue” will be “Intentional”.
But! To “Create that which is Uncontrolled” will be my challenge!
“Without thought. Without purpose. Without inhibition.”

From my Art have I expressed the “Awkwardness of Life”. Mine.
And from the moment I could express my “feelings thru eye and hand”
upon paper, canvas, wood,...it was All unintended, uncontrolled...
No, uncontrollable.

Quandary.

In the past were the “Rituals” of destroying my works. Change.
Some were “rescued” before they “met the fire”, by Friends.
However, for quite some time I have not destroyed my Work.
Looking at it daily, pondering, wondering, admiring and asking
myself, “What next and when?”

My existing Art is the result of years of practice, experience and
exploration. Too, it is hard to express in words “what has been created”.
For at the time “I was ready” my feelings took control of my hands
and the “End Result?”...no idea. As with it All. But was it?
A simple sketch, a visual, sometimes these are my “catalyst”.

And now I wish to “go beyond”. I wish to create from “Uncontrolled,
Unintended and Uninhibited realms where I have struggled to
remain apart. I wish to create “That which I Loath”...
a Piece (for want of a better phrase) of Crap!
The result? Canvas and paint, period.

But, can I? I created one piece...and now “I like it!”
“It’s not supposed to work that way!”
A Piece created from an intentional painting upon an
intentional painting and finally...”abandonment and fun!”

Challenge.

Disenfranchised

It has been many Elections I have seen in my life, but NONE BY FAR excel the childish rants, taunts and "poo-slinging" of these so-called Political Hopefuls! I REFUSE TO VOTE! I cannot contribute to an "already-bought an' paid for" President. Doesn't matter WHO becomes Prez...fact is, I KNOW nuthin's gonna change, get better and "life as we know it"...kiss it goodbye!
Slap my hands for not voting, but as I said I have witnessed the Poli-Bureau's rise to Power. At this moment they "chisel away" our Freedoms. It's sad...the Majority of people in this Country are fucking blind to the "rape and pillaging" happening every day! The TRUTH!?! There is only THEIR TRUTH! They control the media, the finances, wealth and power of each and everyone one of us.
What to do?....I dunno. I'll get back with ya!
In the meanwhile, enjoy the CIRCUS!

2012...Happy New Year from the WMUA & Tropical Gypsy

Mid month! 2012 no doubt! Sucha fuckedup 2011, glad t'see yer ass go! A D I O S! Y'know there comes a time in all our lives when y'jus' gotta "shuck shit" and fergitaboutit! Been a long time that I addressed this Blogsite...too fuckin' long! Sorry about the Neandertal Expletives, but I jus' gotta venti! An' here's m'vent:
This might b'personal t'some o'you folkes out there and I know y'all have good reason behind yer opinions, but in MY life there are principles! Those principles have got my ass in a few tidal pools and then again, w'out 'em...I wouldn' b'the person danglin' from this "Big Blue Orb" that I am.
Touchy subject 'bout those young Marines "pissing" on the dead bodies o'Taliban. Very touchy I'm findin'. Me, I find it WRONG! I've expressed this on Facebook and have met quite a bit o'opposition. As to b'expected. Especially from those "Who Have Served" in our Armed Forces. I don't have the right, first of all, to even believe "I know what they've been thru, or goin' thru!" I've never been in the Military and proud of it! Some o'you might b'obit "ruffled" 'bout that, but this IS AMERICA, LAND O'THE FREE! Right? And I'm hearin' some o'you sayin', "Without a Military, you wouldn't have yer FREEDOM, ASSHOLE!" Right you are. You have earned that right to b'angered w'me. And those Who have fallen in battle, byallmeans, I do respect your "sacrifice" and respect those Families who have lost a loved one in Battle. But, if one could "crawl inside" m'mind to understand how I feel about WAR as a whole...ain' happnin' too soon, I reckon.
Let me git back to the young Soldier's "pissin' on those carcasses". I feel contempt for those individuals doin' the pissin'! First, they've not only "setback" oppotunity to resolve this "Campaign" (it's not a WAR! never been declared!), but they've literally "pissed" on the Citizens of this Country! If y'can't figger it out, well then yer more of a moron than I. I don't give a shit about someone tellin' me War is Hell! And I sure as hell don't give a ratsass about someone tellin' me "y'ain' been in my shoes!" Have YOU once considered that maybe, jus' maybe that "we are"? I mean, "when you go, someone goes with you." FAMILY, FRIENDS, a COMMUNITY. WE ALL GO WITH YOU! Dif'rence is, "you've got a gun. You've got someone tellin' you that, "yer chances o'bein' killed t'day are at an alltime hi!" Now, don' tell me yer lookin' forward t'that! Don't tell me yer not thinkin', This might not have been a good choice!" Don't tell me yer proud o'goin t'someone else's country, sittin' in their backyard wi' gunfire ricochetin' all aroun' ya, watchin' the family inside th'house gittin' killed cause o' SOMEONE ELSE'S INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE IN A CIVILISED FASHION is a good thing!! Don' tell me that yer NOT thinkin' 'bout yer wife n kids sittin' back home waitin' fo' one o' two things; YOU, or a LETTER!
This Country that yer "dyin' for" has been in reckless campaigns for generations! All in the name of FREEDOM? Right now this "clusterfuck" in the Middle East reminds me of the fuckin' CRUSADES! CHRISTIAN & MUSLIM! We been WARRING with each other for over 1000 years! CAN YOU FATHOM THAT?! 1000 YEARS! I have to ask, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Is it ME?! Or does this sound INSANE?! This is a RELIGIOUS WAR fought on both sides! Don' tell me it'sa "Jihad" thing! It's a CHRISTIAN thing as well...right? "GOD n COUNTRY"! Idiots! Mindfuckin' idiots! And our "son's n daughter's" are told "Daddy has t'do this for your FREEDOM". SERIAL?!
VietNam...who won? Was it a stalemate? "Hmmm...no signs of any Godless Commies"...might b'okay." ARE YOU FUCKIN' KIDDING ME?! Allow m'to vent again! VietNam was a French Colony. The Vietnamese people were subjects. Now, how would ya' feel if one morn' y'woke up n saw a bunch a "baguettes" sittin' in yer face when you were accustomed t'breakfast, yer way?! The French colonised VietNam for it's strategic location an' resources. One day someone (Vietnamese) asked, "Why?"...After that came "INSURRECTION"..."ooh, bad!" Bad for the French, they got their arses kicked at Dien Bien Phu. The VietCong (the North) had enough of "someone else's haute couture". The dividin' line made it the North vs. the South.."how does that always happen? Not East vs West?! confusin'..."Ah but, Wait! I hear the sounds o'money clinkin' in someone's hands!"
INVESTOR'S saw an opportunity figgerin' the VietCong were weak and iliterate, ill equiped, etc. So, some U.S. investors met with S'Vietnamese officials (military...hmm) an' said, "We'll bring in some men t'protect yer asses IF you agree to givin' us somethin' in return!" The rest is History. Thousands o'lives lost...lives shattered, homes shattered, businesses gone...and that's the Vietnamese side I'm talkin' 'bout! Over here we had thousands o' live lost, shattered, riots, unrest...an' it goes on.
In the end, did we "REALLY HAFTA WORRY 'BOUT COMMUNISM?!" NO! NO! NO! The Vietnamese only wanted ONE THING! The ONE THING this country decrys all over the world, FREEDOM! They wanted THEIR COUNTRY back!
I've vented enuff. I've "stepped on" some toes. I'm an ass and an idiot! As stated earlier, "a man of priciples". They're "my principles". I believe ALL war is wrong. People should have the "Right" to live without fear, oppression. Yes, We DO NEED a Military to PROTECT US from invasion, but when WE "become the Invaders", I hafta question what is right an' what is wrong. 9/11...a long time ago. To date we've gone FAR BEYOND the death toll in the Two Towers that morn'. We've accomplished upseating a Tyrant and killing a Man so Elusive even his own Army didn't know his whereabouts, leaving behind a country in turmoil. And now, we are in Afghanistan...and Pakistan.
Look at it on the Global Map...Kuwait, Iraq, Afghanistan..."where next?" I daresay if we fuck with Iran, the World as We know it will change forever! Iran, once PERSIA was the "seat of modern Civilisation...thousands of years before we were speakin' english and runnin' t'WalMart fer cheap "Made in China" goods, they had a system of Gov't the Greeks admired an' copied. The Iranian Government seems unstable to us, because WE have created INSTABILITY.
And when We condone "pissing" on the enemy when DEAD, "how far have We come as a Species?" I don't care if a miltary General says, "War is Hell." How can WE, as a NATION OF GOD sit idly by and say, "They did it to us! Even worse!" That to me is the difference..."Rise Above It". You've defeated your foe, You have killed! Let it end there!
...and the Crusades continues....

How Y'all Doin'?

"How Y'all Doin'?" If there is something about the English language I find so itriguing it is dialect! I love a good "Southern Accent". I'm not talking about the one you'd hear Boomhower on King of the Hill speak with. Hell, I don't even think that's considered a Southern accent! However, I do love to listen to a Southern Belle speak it! Well educated, maybe some proper schooling background, etc....
Anyway, 'nuff of that tangent. I realise the last entry I made here was back in September. I think I lost myself on Facebook! LOL!! I've been using it to feel out the "crowds" to launch my Poetry this year. I'm very close to finishing the poems and have recently started illustrations for some of them. Poetry is something that had escaped me the last 30+ years. Life's changes certainly hit me "broadside" and the road to another life/lives began.
Poetry...I've a knack for writing it, always have. Creativity is my lifeforce. I think without it, I'd just pack it all up and be an Accountant...sorry! But, there is something about using words to relate emotion. In high school I was constantly picked on by the bigger boys, the tougher boys, because "I was small"! I graduated weighing 113 pounds! I grew AFTER I graduated! I studied the dictionary in depth, learning a new word each day, one I knew the "bullies" would never understand (wasn't too hard) and a sort of "mental distraction". As it turned out, most people thought I was a snob! Who'da thunk?! It did, on the other hand fuck with the "bullies" heads and...I got slammed in lockers, thrown in trash cans all the same!
That dictionary did help with my "command of the english language". It did impress some people and other's...well, they thought I was a snob. WTF?!? Words have been my "Safety Net". Growing up I was a very small lad...weak, skinny, constantly getting my ass kicked and constantly giving up my dessert from the lunch pail. I remember in elementary school all the fights I was in my ass was kicked, but to make matters worse, I'd get sent to the principal's office, reprimanded and sometimes paddled for "Starting A Fucking Fight!" How messed up is that?! Maybe the Principal got a "kick outa beatin' a lil' boy's butt!" Perv!
Well anyway, years later and here I am and able to kick ass! Sometimes a "dog bites back". But, that's not me...I'm a "Lover not a Fighter". Which reminds, I'm really startin' to wonder what the hell happened?,..cause I "ain't had a piece o' ass in a looooong time!" Sorry, blatant honesty never looked good in print. Back to my ramblin's; It has been over 30 years since I wrote and back then it "just flowed". I think, because I was happy, in love and diggin' life as a teenager! Recently as several months ago, "out of the blue", it returned. At first I was perplexed, because the "pen" just wrote down what I was feeling...again, it "flowed". The more I wrote I realised I was writing FOR and ABOUT someone. That someone happened to be a young woman I had met on Facebook. I dedicated them to her, but did not want her to know it and to keep her anonimity. Thus, my "Muse" was borne. And the writing's came more and more. As I grew into my writing's I had begun to realise, without my "Muse's" knowledge, I was falling in Love. Problem was, she did not know it and was totally unprepared for my "dedication".
We were "Skyp'ing" one another. Each time we would have our encounter's I would notice something more I adored in her! Her smile! Her laughter! Her accent! I was mezmerised! And as time passed our conversations became more relaxed, "as lover's do". "In my mind, at least." And then it came to pass, as these matter's of the heart will do, that I blundered! I made a fool of myself! I professed my feelings and she,..she was caught "off guard! I hurt not only myself, but she as well. She was innocent a to my passions. I was considered a friend, an "Internet Friend", nothing more and to think there could have been, looking back...how foolish I was. And in the end, not only did everything become difficult (I had made it that way thru my inabilty to behave as an adult), but I had lost a friend. With it as well, my poetry has begun to falter.
I do have enough emtion and feeling whereas I can "wing it" and produce more, but I know they will not be the same as when I had my "Muse". Things in Life are someimes left unexplained as to try to understand...I leave this post with several poem's I had written for her. Until then, My Friends..."I'll be back."
~~~~~~
"Each time I see You, Your smile, hear Your laughter, I crave more. Words drift by and I smell the sweetness of each inflection as it lies gently upon my ears. Your Beauty could never launch a thousand ship's, for all on shore would not leave. Time is as it never was and will never be, I am at peace in my Heart each time I see You."
~~~~~~
"You", a light in my Heart, a Face of such Beauty I blush. Your smile melts my very Soul. Your laughter lifts me to heights I see Heaven. Yet, I cannot touch You. I cannot tell You of what lies within, for I am but one, afraid. "You" are my Dream and I should never wish to awaken from "the light in my Heart".
~~~~~~
My Heart quickens when I see Your face, It sings when I hear Your voice and dances with each syllable You inflect. My Heart races when You laugh! Your pensive frowns, Your tongue against Your soft lips, I am enamoured! All this and more...my Heart is Yours.

The Return...Where from here?

I am posting this Blog, because of a most recent verbal transaction on Facebook. To my Friend I responded to my absence in social gatherings, so to speak. So, I wrote a bit...well, a letter, hell, almost my Life's history, to her this morning. I thought afterwards I haven't written much in my Blog as of late and, well, time to catchup! For the moment I will "copy and paste" what I wrote to my friend. I will get back here, soon!.....
(her last comment in a response as to my most recent decision for not drinking...an OWI and 6 hours in the "slammer" opened my eyes)...
"My friend...you amaze me...your talents...your innerself. You're an increadible person. You need not drink to intrigue me or interest me. I enjoy knowing you!"
...and my story for the decision I made as follows:
It was difficult trying to fulfill my dreams as an Artist in a working-class family. Thus, I was to pay for my own education, "room and board were available" at home while I laboured in factories to save . My first experience in a University was, without a doubt, hard. But, I excelled all my Art classes. One of my professors (the toughest as well) taught in the style of the "Old Masters". Those classes were most intense, but were ground rules to graduate into other forms and media of Art. I learned many styles, but appreciated Life Painting and Drawing, because it entailed more than "rendering and execution", it proved whether an Artist could "see". Hands are but the "tools", the "eyes" are the image and soul to Art.
That Professor, it seemed, worked hardest on me! One afternoon as he tore up a drawing I had spent HOURS on, I became so enraged I was ready to walk away, forever. He looked at me making sure the entire classroom could hear (his exact words I still remember and the look upon his face), "Someday, You will be better than the "average" Artist" and walked away.
I never addressed myself as an Artist until years later. I needed to learn more! Finally, after apprenticing under many others for several years I had my "last" experience which granted me the title, Artist. She was a renowned Watercolourist and Artist in Paris, New York and Chicago. How she came to Dowagiac and taught classes at SMC was beyond me! But she "took me under her wing" and placed all Emphasis on my growth. Months of diligent work. It was the most taxing, frustrating and confusing period of my career. She came to me one day and said, "I want you to bring in three large pieces of illustration board." Next day I showed up for class (I was never allowed to work alongside my classmates, I was her Pupil, her Apprentice). She instructed me to take 2 of the boards and cut smaller pieces from them and to leave one board intact. For 1 week I painted almost a 100 small paintings until she said, "Now, take the large board and paint something." I asked, "What?" She said, "It's inside you, find it." I stared for 3 days at that board until my hand picked up the brush and touched the board. Within one hour I stepped back, looked and "tried so hard to understand what had just happened".
She came up to me, looked at my painting, looked at me (expressionless), handed me her "prized watercolour brush" and said, "My work is done. There is nothing more I can teach you" and walked away. I stood dumbfounded while my classmates applauded. Almost 5 years later would I "allow myself the title of Artist".
The "heartbreak" in my life were the many opportunities handed to me, yet unable to afford them. My Parents, regardless, still refused to support me (my Mother tried, seeing my future as viable, but my Father didn't want to for fear of his friends asking if I were "gay" of all things!!). All Scholarships went to minorities (Affirmative Action).
I was accepted into; Kendall School of Design, the Chicago Art Institute, the University of Chicago, the New School of Art, Parsons School of Art, Bloomington Art School, Freiburg University in Germany...and many others. So, disappointed and pissed off, I rebelled. I did my Art, but when it was completed I DESTROYED it, or if I felt generous, I gave it to someone. The majority of it was in my "Perofrmance Art" shows. When done, I would destroy it before everyone's eyes! Wrong thing to do! People were outraged! The few art leagues and associations I belonged to ostracised me, banned me from shows. Of course, my paintings and drawings of Nudes didn't "fly well" with the "prim and proper" ideals of the "Tard's"!
I found drugs, alcohol had been there for awhile, but never a close friend. Years of drifting between Art and girfriends I mistakenly got a girlfriend pregnant. We had kids, got married and that was the end of an Era.
Alcohol replaced Art..."hmm,..AA. Alcohol n Art! :)
And here I am, playing "catchup". Who I am today, right now, is the remant of what "Once was". I am that Artist struggling to regain the Title I had worked so hard for!
Art is just not a piece of paper, a canvas, a sculpting. It is a Soul, personified. Each time I create a piece, "my Soul" is embedded into a once dormant idea, or object. Maybe You can understand my "reluctance" to "SELL" it. I'd rather "GIVE IT AWAY".
And now I sit alone as I did decades ago ready to begin what I started then. My friends have abandoned me, not I abandoning them.
Besides, as I have always said, "We come into this world alone and leave it the same way."

Wow.

Need to get back to "blogging". I miss it.
Did read past posts last night and was amazed with some of the stuff I wrote in the past. Wow! Some of it good, some bad. Interesting to review the past, almost 2 years of my life and what i was going through then and where I'm at now.
Most interesting is "how and who" I am now. I know I'm a helluvalot happier now and have had some good and interesting moments, opportunities and decisions since.
...wow....

REVELATIONS

I've been a "hard working sonamuhbitch" ALL my life. And throughout it, I have been naiive enough to be thwarted, side-tracked and even given away my earnings and LIFE savings for "Love". I am a very caring individual when it comes to persons and their plight(s). As a matter of fact I can say I "pissed away" real estate, retirement and "health care" through a simple "roll of the dice" for Love.

I have been "used, taken advantage of and led to believe I was the one at fault". I was ALWAYS the one who ended up making apologies when it should've been the other party. However, I understand that now, because that person simply "lacked the concept" of what an apology (a verbal, from the heart apology) meant. Call it "self pride", or "call it, "fuck you, you're an asshole". I can accept that, really! Basically, I do believe in "what goes around comes bitchslappin' backatcha!"

Boiled down this equates to the fact that I "have to start my life from the ground up." And you know? I am! Thanks to being a "hard working sonamuhbitch" who's talented, believes in himself, is resilient and has the faith of friends and family. It goes without saying.

There is one thing though that bothers me more than ANY thing in this world and that is, "blaming your lowlife-freaking existence on everybody and anything else!" When you become ANGERED and IRRITATED about life and the bullshit it deals you....?! And when someone (like me) wants to give a helping hand only to SEE that my hand is doing nothing than MAINTAINING their ADDICTION to the lowlife misery YOU conjour up....I say, "FUCK YOU!" And FUCK YOU for blaming your petty bullshit on me and others!

TOO BAD you live outta the pocket change of others! "I BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND AM DEALING WITH IT!" "GETTA LIFE, OR GET REHAB!" "BUT NEVER,..NEVER,..FUCKING EVER,..BITCH AT ME FOR YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!!!!!!"

and I quote; "Here is the deal. It's a real simple factoid:Once you pick up the pipe, it doesn't let you go. Ever."

I am so sorry. And I am sorry I read that. I saw talent that was and still remains in a pool of self-pity. Me, I prefer knowing at the end of the day that "I am loved." My children, my friends,..it's unconditional! They know I love and laugh and "relish" each freaking moment of my life, because of this one ideal. And that is, "tomorrow is going to be a better day, because I WANT it to be!"

"If you can't deal with reality, than stick with the Dealer."

Profundity at 4:30 in the morning

I really need to think what I have done all MY LIFE, what did I do all MY LIFE, why I did what I did all MY LIFE and "what the fuck I'm gonna do with the rest of MY LIFE."

It is comparable to almost stepping in dogshit; "you see it, acknowledge it, respect it and ignore for the next dumbass to step in it."

(I need to know how these tidbits of "profundity arise"....is it the Tequila?!?)

**as written in Facebook February 2, 2010 by the "Tropical Gypsy"**

Doh!

Wanted to write...maybe I'd rather "veg". Guess I'm tired, deeply tired. It was a helluva year, that 2009! Good memories, bad memories, happiness, hurt. I find I still carry fucking "baggage". Closure? Never had it. Can't be pissed off, that just doesn't do anything except waste time and energies toward a "new future".

And then I'm not alone. I find that life has dealt a "mind numbing" club to thousands. Just check online dating,.."no, don't". Everybody is looking for a prince, or princess! Insanity!

Like the song sings, "Somewhere over the Rainbow, way up high. And the dream that you dream of...."

Somebody get me a Eukelele!

Well, this is it for tonight. Just not in the mood. Braincloud!

Happy 2010 Everybody!

AAARGH!!! and they be "Pirate Friends!"

Once inawhile, one might find one's self lookin' up the sidewalls of a "cruiser", in my case, someone with a "Sailboat"! (gregorian chant, here)
With that however, comes the rudimentary art of "seduction' precipitated by the "Pirate" whom "unleashes" this nasty spirit upon you! Oh, yeah, "hellbent" to ruin anything you thought synonymous to the 21st century, "well, you mi'as well forgetit!"
This friend of mine...how do I descibe someone "indescribible?" A "Pirate".
So,...you find yourself given to the "winds as locomotion..." Awesome. So,...you find yourself given to the ways of "piracy".
"Can you see yourself without the "veil of recluse"?
...if so,..please "snd by".......

"Tales of the Tropical Gypsy" Chap.3

Not sure of his surroundings, Jo tried to focus through the veil of light and blood. His head roared from pain! The queasiness in his stomach took hold and a volume of "interrupted bile" escaped his esophagus! "FUCK!" What the fuck,..motherf..." Another blow. This one, however, did not take him out. Instead, it made him "reel like a bull gone mad"! As Jo jumped to his feet ready to "play hell" on his attackers, he immediately withdrew any formidable stance that should "warrant another blow to the head".

Looking through the trickle of blood that blurred his vision, there in front of him, were a small group of men brandishing three foot long machette's. To his count, Jo could see clearly he was, outnumbered. The men had no expression on their faces. "Their's" was what one might assume, "Duty". To the left of the group stood an older and sinewy man dressed as one might find a "farmer". He probably crested no more than five feet in stature, but by the stains of crimson liquid on the hilt of his machette, Jo determined this was the "Badass" that brought him down.

Jo's expression brought the next volley of words, all in "fucking spanish!" "Hey! speak fuckin' english, will ya'?!" The response?...another blow of the machette'd hilt carried by the old Man. "Jo, tasting the liquid oozing from swollen lips, sat rigid. "This dude is pissed AND so am I!", he thought. "Hey! I think there's some mistake", he yelled gingerly. "Comprende'?" With that, the "older Man then made a "several paragraph statement" toward Jo that made Jo feel like, this "dude", was TOTALLY pissed at him! "Amigo! What have I done to offend you?! Please, tell me why you're beating the crap outta me and I don't KNOW FUCKIN" WHY!!?!" "Whack!"

"Goddammit, motherf.." "Whack!" This time Jo succummed to the pain. "Ahhh,...the bliss,..take me awayyyyyyy Calgonite!"

Eyes barely open, Jo realised he was bound "hand and foot" by the plastic strips which cut into his skin. Too, he was being carried by several of the other men, followed by the "old Man" only to be placed into a parked van outside his apartment! "Fuck! He thought. Fuck it!" Not only was Jo bound, he was gagged as well, no screams for help..."fuck". The side door opens and Jo is thrown inside. He flails about, uselessly. His captors kick and laugh at him. The "old Man" yells something in spanish and they all recess to the walls of the van. And then, a door to the front of the van opens. "Celeste? Celeste...is it you? Help me, help...another blow and Jo is unconscious once again.